


The Distance She Created

by disenfranchisedvoice



Category: The Loud House (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-24 00:24:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14344071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disenfranchisedvoice/pseuds/disenfranchisedvoice
Summary: Luan has some good things going. Successful Business, good grades, a family that loves her, but there's one thing she wants more than the rest. Can she fix the damage before she has to go off to college?





	1. Chapter 1

Senior year exams are no joke, and Luan Loud is not going to treat them as such. After a grueling day of tests, tests, and more tests, Luan nearly collapses as she walks through the front door of her home. The now too common lack of noise that greets her is nearly deafening. After wandering into the living room she collapses on the couch, nearly passing out from the day's events until her phone vibrates in her skirt pocket.

The number is unfamiliar to her, so she puts on her professional voice, “Luan Loud, proprietor of Funny Business Inc. speaking,” she says into the receiver. As expected it's another party request, even though she shut down the business months ago. They expect her to leap through hoops to satisfy themselves, their children, her teachers, her parents, her family, her college expectations, everything in her life that has been spiraling out of control for the past few weeks. She politely declines the persons request and reminds them that Funny Business is out of business before hanging up the phone and planting her head back on the couch cushions. Luan's eye flutter closed sending her into a fitful sleep. 

The young woman wakes up in her room. She throws the covers off herself and looks around. She wonders how she got here, and why the familiar view of Luna's bunk bed is resting above her. Looking down at herself she notices she's wearing her old yellow plaid skirt and white, button up, sleeveless shirt. Upon further inspection, she realizes she's back in her fourteen-year-old body. Feeling at her lack of breasts and remembering the pain she felt in acquiring them a small frown forms on her face. 

“This has to be a dream, right? There's no other explanation,” she says as she looks around for anyone to answer her. She swings her feet to the floor and steps away from the bed. She looks around the room, searching every nook and cranny to find a hidden camera, a group of people, or any other indication that she's been transported to some joke dimension, but finds nothing. She puts her hand to her chin and gives a loud, questioning hum before throwing her arms across her chest to form an X.

“Luan, transform!” She yells to the heavens and begins twirling in place. A minute passes and Luan begins to stumble around the room knocking over a lamp, and violently running into her shared desk. Placing her hands on the high surface she closes her eyes and fights back the urge to vomit. After regaining her composure Luan looks around the room again and revels in the memories from years ago. Her eyes skim over all of Luna's music equipment, her old props, Mr. Coconuts still in his prime. She picks up the dummy and runs her hand over his pristine face. She lays the dummy back down into its position on Mr. Beany, before rubbing her eyes removing the small tears before they fall.

After taking stock of the posters on the wall and other memories she left behind, the young girl steps out into the hallway expecting the usual chaos. The silence she encounters is deafening. Very unlike the Loud house that she remembers, Luan takes turns looking into each of her siblings' rooms. The same beds, posters, dressers, everything is in its place that Luan can remember. All her sisters' rooms mirror images of how they were before the three eldest moved on to college, apartments, and their own lives outside of the tight-knit family. Having made the rounds she looks down the hall at the former linen closet, the room of her only brother. She tentatively puts her hand on the doorknob. Turns it and eases the door open. 

As the door swings open, Luan peeks in. The room is faded, dull, and lifeless. “How long has it been,” she questions. Three years. Three long years since she last stepped into the room, since she even dared to look in its direction. Toys scatter the desk. Colorless posters hang on the walls. His laptop sits open on his nightstand. His bed is a cluttered, unused mess. She runs her hand against the desk, disturbing the film of dust that has settled on the surface. The small robot toy suddenly falls over, breaking into pieces as it hits the carpeted ground. A rustling from the bed catches her attention. She throws her head to the side to catch a replay of her last real memory in the room.

Lincoln sits on his bed in a relaxed reading position. He thumbs through a comic book, his preferred activity when alone in his room. Luan watches him, studying the details of his eleven-year-old face. It feels like an eternity since she last looked at her brother. The freckles that line his cheeks dance around his face as he sticks his tongue out in concentration. His eyes bulge just a little as something exciting happens on the page he's reading. The small cowlick that adorns the top of his snow-white head flutters as the air conditioning kicks on. The sight of him in his calm, defenseless attitude burns itself into Luan's brain.

He suddenly turns his head and looks in her direction. A small blush creeps onto her cheeks as his eyes bore holes through her face. She reflexively grabs onto her ponytail and tugs on it like a school girl in front of her crush. Her eyes turn down as though something very interesting just happened on the floor.

“Hey, Luan, what's up?”

The girl jumps at the sudden question. She's pulling harder and harder on her ponytail, her nerves sent into overdrive. “N-nothing Lincoln. I-I guess I'm sorry about your toy. I know it meant a lot to you,” she says in a quiet mutter. She throws her head up, looking him in the eyes, “I'll get you a new one. A better one, so can we just... just...”

Suddenly a phantom phases through her and heads to the bed. Lincolns' eyes follow the apparition. It matches her size and shape. It's holding its hands behind its back as it hovers over Lincoln. It stands motionless before the young boy before throwing its arms around his neck.

“No, stop,” Luan mutters as she closes her eyes and turns her head away from the scene playing out in front of her, but no matter how much she looks away it's burned into her eyelids.

The phantom swoops down and buries its face into Lincoln's. He struggles, tries to pull back, but the ghost matches his movements, pushing in as he pulls away.

“Stop it... STOP IT!”

The scene cracks and crumbles before her eyes as tears flow freely down her face. The world shatters like a mirror, the pieces drop leaving the girl standing in a black, endless void. Luan falls to her knees and curls herself into a ball as sobs wrack her body.

“get it... Get it... GET IT...” the phrase repeats over and over, growing in volume until it feels like her head will burst open.

The sound of the door slamming shut throws Luan into a stupor. She shoots up, letting out a harsh scream as she falls off the couch, slamming her head into carpet below. 

She sits up slowly, rubbing her hand against the back of her head. Her eyes open and she gets a short handle on her surroundings. She's no longer in her young teen attire. Instead, she's wearing her usual black, long-sleeve shirt and black and yellow plaid knee-length skirt. She looks to her left and right, back in the living room, back in her time, back home.

“Hey, Luan, you okay,” a still deepening yet masculine voice asks.

Luan pauses, turning her head away from the source of the voice, “Yeah, just zonked out on the couch, had a bad dream. Nothing to worry about Linc.” With those last words, she turns her head to her fourteen-year-old brother, throwing on an awkward smile.

“Alright, just be careful, okay?”

As Luan opens her eyes, she sees he's still by the entryway as though he's afraid to come any closer to her. He turns to head up the stairs.

“Hey, Lincoln, can we talk for a bit?” The question surprises Lincoln and the young woman that asked it.

“Gee, Luan. I'd love to; I just... have a lot of homework to get through. You know how it is, right?”

“Yeah, sure thing, Linc. Maybe later?”

After a pregnant pause, the boy nods his head and hurries up the stairs. The only noise left behind is the closing of his bedroom door.

“When's later going to be Lincoln? Never?” With a deep sigh, Luan repositions herself on the couch staring longingly at the stairs where the boy stood moments ago.


	2. 2

After dinner, the remaining Loud children go about their normal post-dinner activities. Lily, sitting in the living room drawing on random sheets of paper, Lisa locking herself in her room to perform experiments, Lana and Lola having their daily argument, Lucy writing poetry, Lynn doing her nightly workout routine, Lincoln locking himself in his room, and Luan back to the grindstone, studying for her next round of exams.

“So, math is on Monday with history after that,” Luan throws her head back against her bed reveling in the insanity of back to back exams for another week. “Mom and Dad, you don't have to worry about the allure of drugs and alcohol at college. High School will kill me before it even gets the chance to seduce me.”

“That's a good line, do you mind if I use it?”

“Sure thing Luce, as long as I can do my impression of you at my next open mic.”

“Sigh, the things I go through for art.”

Luan lets out a chuckle as Lucy crawls out of the vent getting her leg caught and falling on her face. Luan burst out laughing at her younger sisters’ misfortune before going to her aid. She lifts Lucy off the ground and brushes the dust and cobwebs off the front of her dress.

“I've gotta say, Luce, you're getting too big for the vents.”

“Nothing is sadder or more impossible to confront than the truth. I'll have to find a new secret dark place soon.”

“Well, maybe I can help you find one once my exams are finished.”

“Is that the name you give the current torture of your longing soul?”

Luan moves back to her bed, falling face first into the furniture before letting out a groan into her pillow.

“Perhaps I shouldn't have said anything,” Lucy muses before going to join her older sister, choosing to sit simply on the bed's edge rather than the flare for the dramatic that her sister chose. “Is there something you would like to talk about?”

Luan turns onto her back and stares at the ceiling. Scrunching and contorting her face before turning to Lucy, “All this school stuff is killing me. I know I've been dealing with it for a while now, but these exams, admission essays, extracurricular activities, the drama club, going to college,” with that she lets out a sigh and rubs her hands against her face. “It's not like more school is really going to help me with what I already know I want to do with my life.”

Lucy looks down at Luan, cocking her head. “You know I'm eleven, right? The intricacies of your emotions are yours alone to understand, but are you saying you don't want to go to college?”

“Yes,” Luan shouts while shooting up from her lying position. “No, well I just don't know anymore. I mean, I can stay at home, work the circuit and improve my material and all that. I've already won some awards, so it's not hard to get stage time around here. On the other hand, there's a lot to experience at college. So much more I can learn from my peers and all that stuff that my guidance counselor keeps spouting. I just don't know what the right decision is.”

“Through all that I didn't hear the real reason you don't want to leave here. It's about Lincoln isn't it?”

Luan turns towards the wall and lays back in her bed, curling in on herself. The thought of Lincoln terrifies her; he hasn't been the same since then, at least not to her. 

“Luan, it's driving me crazy being the only one that knows why you two never talk anymore. Even Lynn's starting to think there's something more to your relationship than a nasty fallout at a party. Have you been able to talk to him at all?

“No. He keeps running away from me. Its homework, his friends, or some other made up reason that makes it so he can't find the time to give me even a second. I know what he's going through, but why won't he let me explain anything to him?”

Lucy lies on the bed next to Luan and wraps an arm around her. “Do you think it was a mistake to break up with him?”

“Of course it was,” Luan shouts out as tears start to form in her eyes. “But it was only a matter of time until Lori found out, and who knows what she would have done. Who knows how much I was going to screw up his life because of my stupid emotions.”

“He doesn't seem to be doing that great now,” Lucy says softly, flinching at her own words. It hurts to say, but Lincoln and Luan were happier than she ever knew them to be when the two siblings were together, now Lincoln seems to be going through the motions. Slowly cutting himself off from the rest of his diminishing family.

Sobs begin to wreck through Luan's body. The harsh truth too much for her to face. Lucy rubs her arms trying to console her sister from the pain she created. A few minutes pass before Luan is able to calm herself down.

“I didn't want that to happen. I want him to be happy. I want him to lead a full and happy life. I don't want him to be called a freak his whole life because he's dating his sister,” Luan finishes as the threat of more tears wavers over her face.

The silence after Luan's subdued outburst hangs over the two as they lay on the bed. Lucy steels herself as she comforts her sister. “But did you ever stop to think about what Lincoln wanted?” Her words hang in the air as Luan tries to grasp them in her brains webbing. She releases herself from Lucy's grasp and gets out of the bed. Lucy follows her lead and sits up following Luan with her eyes. Crossing the room Luan stops in front of the exit, opening the door slightly before turning back to Lucy.

“I guess I never did, but it's too late now.” As she makes to exit Luan gives her final thoughts on the matter. “We were a lot like Romeo and Juliet, you know, but in the end, we turned into Romeo and Juliet,” she says and gives a small chuckle, “Get it?” With that, she closes the door behind her.

“It's been a while since I've been able to appreciate your puns and wordplay.” Lucy stands and heads back to the vents from which she came. “I guess the wait continues.” Lucy jumps to the opening and begins crawling through the houses inner workings before her leg gets caught and a loud rip resounds through her ears. Looking back her sock is nearly ripped in half. “Sigh.”


	3. Chapter 3

Luan finishes her business in the bathroom and removes her scrunchie, letting her hair flow down to the small of her back. Looking in the mirror she sees the tear streaks running down her face and gives a long sigh. She turns on the faucet and plugs the sink letting it fill with water. Once it's nearly full she turns the knob and dunks her head in the water. The water cascades over her face, the coolness relieving her tired eyes. She opens them slightly, as hundreds of thoughts race through her mind as she looks at the blurry outline of the sink basin. Her relationship with Lincoln at the forefront, but her growing connection with Lucy is a happier line of thought that she latches onto.

She raises her head, rivulets of water streaming from her face, and grabs the nearby hand towel to dry herself. She doesn't know how long the two were talking, but the mental and emotional toll of the day have left her spirit and body drained of all energy. As she starts her nightly ritual for bed, her mind wanders.

-2 years ago-

Luna had suddenly announced two weeks ago that she was dropping out of school and hitting the road with her band. The fact that she landed a record deal and was going on tour was a surprise to the entire family, but none more than her roommate, Luan. Having lived together for 15 years she thought she was closer to Luna than anyone else, but the signs had slipped past her causing her familiar world to crack and fade around her. 

Over the first two weeks of summer, any time that Luan didn't spend with Lincoln she would use wallowing in the absence of her roommate and closest sister in her room. Keeping the lights off, suspending her recording of the rest of the house, and simply lying in bed. 

As long as she was with Lincoln, everything was fine, but with the rest of the family, the comedienne was a lifeless husk of her former self. This caught the attention of the Ms. Doom and Gloom, Lucy Loud. Hoping to find a kindred spirit in the new the persona that Luan had taken on, Lucy kept watching from the shadows of the vents she was slowly outgrowing. While it was nice to see another sibling enjoy the darkness like she did, but at the same time, it tore at her heartstrings.

Now, she reaches for the vent grate, set on talking with her sister about her troubles when the door opens and she freezes in place. Looking towards the source of the interruption, she sees her brother, Lincoln, standing in the doorway. He walks into the room, closing the door behind him. As he makes his way to the bed, he takes careful steps so as to not trip over any of his sister's comedy props that are strewn along the ground. Luan's huddled up figure on the bed makes no reaction to his presence. He sits on the bed causing Luan to flinch at the sudden shift in weight distribution. He places his hand on her shoulder, rubbing her softly.

“Luan, you can't keep doing this to yourself,” he softly mutters as he tries to find the right amount of concern to show his sister.

Luan doesn't acknowledge the touch, instead choosing to stay huddled in her tiny ball of safety. Lincoln takes the silence as an invitation, huddling closer to his sister until he's almost sitting on top of her, sharing his warmth. Lincoln's added body heat combined with the unusually warm autumn soon proves to be too much for the young girl as she throws the covers off herself and turns to face the invader of her personal hell.

She tries to put on a stern look, but her current mood betrays her, succeeding at only a slight frown. Lincoln runs his hand across her face, brushing aside the hair that's matted to her face by sweat. He rests it on her cheek and swoops in, planting a kiss on her lips. Luan doesn't return the affection, trying to keep her mood stable, but soon relents by pushing her lips against his. Lincoln returns the action with increased fervor, prodding his tongue against her simple defenses. She opens her mouth and tangles her tongue with his deepening the kiss even further by wrapping her arms around his neck. Lucy lets out a gasp at the sight before her, but the inexperienced lovers continue, the noise unable to penetrate their bubble of bliss.

Lincoln, forgetting his original intentions, runs his hands down her shoulders, caressing her small breasts. Luan lets out a small moan in his mouth as he rubs against her nipples. Suddenly a sharp pain runs through her mouth and she pushes him away, breathing heavily as she rubs her jaw.

“Sorry, Luan! Sorry! I didn't mean to... I... I just got lost in the moment,” Lincoln stutters out.

“It's okay Lincoln. I did too. So much that I forgot that I had my braces tightened the other day,” she says as she clicks her jaw around, trying to find the most comfortable position.

Lincoln acts quickly, throwing his hand to the nightstand and rummaging around until he finds a small bottle. He brings it up to his face to read the label and make sure his hand struck true. He thrusts the container of waxy, pain reliever towards his sister. “This helps, right?”

“Thanks,” she says as she grabs the ointment, unscrews the cap and applies a dollop of the medicine to her finger. She rubs it over her aching teeth and gums. Finishing, she tosses the container towards the nightstand. As it ceremoniously lands on the ground, just short of its target, she says, “I can't wait for next year, when these stupid things finally come off.”

“Me too. It'll make a lot of things less painful.” A blush forms on his cheeks as the memory of an ill-advised make-out session got a little too hot and heavy. He still fears the thought of Luan's mouth anywhere near his penis. “That's something I never want to happen again.”

Luan gives her white-haired brother a blank stare until she comprehends what he's talking about. A smirk erupts on her face as she brings a hand to her mouth to block the oncoming torrent of laughter, but too late. Lincoln scratches the back of his head, as the red on his face grow deeper and spreading to his ears in response to Luan's unending flow joy.

“Come on Luan, it's not funny,” he says with a small smile forming on his lips, “I thought I was going to lose my little Lincoln.”

Between breaths Luan retorts, “C'mon, Linc, You know I love hot dogs, but I wouldn't mind munching on your taco,” she finally lets out as she continues to guffaw.

Lincoln allows a few minutes to pass as his sister releases her pent up frustration and sadness. Once she starts to settle down and wipe the tears from her eyes, Lincoln asks, “Are you feeling better?”

As her laughter dies down to chuckles she takes a deep breath and scoots next to Lincoln, laying her head on his shoulder and wrapping her arm around his waist. “I thought I knew everything about her. I can't believe she would just up and abandon me like that.”

Lincoln nuzzles his head into the top of hers while moving his hand to rest on her shoulder, “It came as a surprise to everyone, but she didn't abandon you, Luan. She's out there pursuing her dreams, leading the life she always wanted. You should be happy for her.”

“I know... I know, but, I thought we shared that dream. When we were kids, we always talked about going on the road together. My juggling and unicycle with her violin going against the world.” She finishes cocooning around her little brother, making sure his heat and comfort couldn't leave her.

“Well, it sucks to say, but, things change. She doesn't play the violin anymore, and you don't use your unicycle either. You both grew up. Some things just fall by the wayside. If a talent scout burst in here and offered you a stand up special, are you saying you wouldn't take it?”

“First I'd ask him what he's doing bursting into the room of a beautiful fifteen-year-old who's spending time with her darling boyfriend,” she says as she buries her head deeper into Lincoln's neck, giving him butterfly kisses and little pecks. “Then I would thank him for the opportunity of making me the number one comedienne in the world. I know what you're saying. It just hurts that she didn't even let me know what was going on in her life.”

The young boy giggles at his lover's actions, “Sometimes these things happen so fast, you don't have time to talk to anyone. Look around, there's still so much stuff that Luna left behind. I'm sure it was a now or never situation.”

“You really think so, Linc?”

“Trust me. If I know anything, I know it was a decision that Luna struggled with. I also know that if she knew her leaving would do this to you, she would have turned them down without a second thought.”

“I wouldn't want that.” Luan removes herself from Lincoln, giving the boy some much needed fresh air, and looks him in the eyes. “Guess I'll just have to become a world-famous comedienne so she can open for me on my world tour.” Luan gives Lincoln the greatest gift she could have at the moment. Her mouth forms the brightest smile Lincoln has ever seen, warming his heart and forcing him to return the favor with tickles. 

Lucy continues to watch as her siblings tickle each other mercilessly. A confused smile forms on her lips. While she's happy that her distraught sister can begin healing and proud that her caring brother succeeded where she had failed to try. However, she is disturbed by the revelation that her older brother and sister are dating. While backing away from the happy scene, she wonders how she could confront them about the secret she bore witness too. If she should even bring it up at all. Something like this could hurt the family beyond repair. If only she could be as mature as Lori, or thoughtful as Leni, she feels that she could arrive at a satisfactory answer. Lucy is just herself, however, and she would have to handle this delicate information in her own way.


	4. Chapter 4

A few days later Luan wakes up with the blaring alarm. She slams her hand on the snooze button and rises from her bed. After rubbing the sleep from her eyes she stretches her arms and back, giving a loud yawn in the process. Smacking her lips together a few times she goes through her plans for the summer day. Shower, breakfast as soon as possible, a party with Lincoln at noon, and then the rest of the day together with her lovely, caring boyfriend. First, they'll go to the park and feed the ducks, run from the ducks, hold hands, cuddle, kiss. Her mind sinks further and further into depravity before the alarm sounds again, jolting her from her thoughts. Luan slams the top of the alarm clock before turning it off. Now fully awake, she throws her legs to the side and leaps off the bed, ready to face the day. 

As she crosses the room and reaches for the door, she hears the crinkling of paper. Looking down there's a piece of loose leaf under her foot. She picks it up and reads the contents:

Meet me in the basement at 8  
Don't be late  
I know your secret

The simple message sends a chill down her spine. All the positivity and work she's put into getting over Luna's departure flying out the window.

“Well, we've been at this for a year already. It was bound to happen,” she says to herself as she leaves her room and gets in line for the bathroom, Lucy and Lola already waiting their turn.

Lincoln walks out of his room and stands in line behind his favorite sister, wrapping his arms around her waist and giving her and gentle hug. The sudden contact causes Luan to shriek and jump out of her lover's embrace. The other two sisters look back at the noise, inspecting the interruption to their quiet morning. Luan is breathing heavily, while Lincoln's face is covered in shock.

He quickly tries to collect himself, save face in front of his younger siblings. “Sorry, Luan, I'll cross morning tickles off the list of acceptable sibling behavior,” he says while pasting on an awkward smile. The other girls look back to the door while Luan has her hand to her chest, breathing deeply to calm her nerves.

“Are you okay,” Lincoln asks in a hushed whisper. He places his hand on her shoulder trying to reassure her that he means no harm.

Luan calms herself down, a deep crimson painting her face. She looks away from her brother and tries to put on her usual mask. “Sorry, Linc, got a lot of stuff on my mind.”

“What kind of stuff? Do you want to talk about it?”

“NO,” she says a little too loud, drawing Lola's attention for a second. Luan gives her a nervous chuckle and a short apology before turning back to the boy. “I mean, just, the party today is pretty important. A lot of perspective clients in the crowd today. Know what I mean?”

Lincoln runs the statement through his mind, giving her a doubtful look. “Okay? I didn't realize the party was such a big deal. And you're sure this has nothing to do with..., you know, the whole thing from a few days ago?”

Luan vehemently shakes her head, “No, no, no. That's okay now. I mean, it still hurts, but you've been a great help for that. I'm really thankful for you, Lincoln.” She pulls the young boy into a light hug, getting lost in his comfort and touch. The bathroom door opens as Lynn leaves and Lucy takes her place, letting out a gag as she closes the door.

“Get a room,” Lynn says as she passes by the hugging couple.

“Maybe we will when you stop letting off stink bombs wherever you go,” Luan shouts after her.

“Whatever. Weirdo’s,” she finishes under her breath as she heads into her room.

The comedienne pulls away from the boy, noting the blush creeping up his cheeks. She gives him a light slap, “Come on, we have plenty of time for that kind of stuff later. Gotta get ready for the party first,” she whispers before turning back to the line, the note warring in her mind with the promise of a day with her favorite brother and boyfriend.

The rest of the day passes by in a blur for Luan. The party went without a hitch, gaining the favor of the children and new business connections with the parents in attendance. The date was amazing to every last detail. While they had to be careful of people they knew seeing them, it was nice to out and not have to hide their every move from their family, and the ducks only attacked once. However, Luan couldn't forget the shadow hanging over her happiness. The mysterious note left for her in the morning made a small hole and tried to interrupt her every decision for the day. All the good and happy moments with Lincoln were tainted by the inky darkness of fear and paranoia.

As dinner concludes and the family goes about their nightly rituals, Luan makes her way to the basement, ducking behind the water heater to catch the writer by surprise. She doesn't know why she wants to sneak up on them, but she does know that the element of surprise is important in these kinds of situations. Something about unnerving the other party, giving her an upper hand in any negotiations. She saw it in a movie once.

Sitting in the dank, dirty basement is unnerving in itself. Every creak of the pipes, the stomping of feet above her, the mixture of chemical smells, it all cast an eerie atmosphere over the arduous wait. The seconds feel like minutes, and the minutes feel like hours. Luan starts to fidget as she waits for the accuser, tapping her foot and playing with her hair. The anticipation and sense of dread overwhelming her. Looking down at her phone, she notes the time at 7:58 and sighs.

Finally, the door opens, and she stiffens to the sound of the creaking door. As the unknown indicter’s footsteps make their way down the stairs, the hidden girl fell into a pouncing position. As she counts the steps, she picks her moment, and leaps from behind the water heater, “What do you know,” she shouts to the empty basement.

“Hello, Luan”

The teen girl shrieks and jumps in place at the hidden voice. “LUCY! What... when... how?”

“We have more important matters to discuss,” the young girl says betraying no emotion as she stands still behind Luan. “I saw you with Lincoln. Your relationship has progressed beyond the realms that mere mortals find appropriate.”

“Lucy, what are you talking about,” Luan asks wearily. She tries to put on her best poker face, but the element of surprise is now against her. Her body is working against her, giving all the signals that she is trying to hide something. Lucy knows what it is, and her history of studying people from the shadows allows her to read Luan like a children's story.

“In your bedroom. 3 days ago. 8 pm. You were in your usual morose state at the time until Lincoln came in and talked to you. I was in the vent, about to try to do the same, but felt it was best to leave it to someone more experienced. He gave you some wise words, but what I saw afterward left me speechless. Tickling, cuddling... kissing,” she says the last example in a quiet whisper. Knowing that the walls have ears, she doesn't want anyone else to find out about it. 

“Luce, that... that was, um, not... just let me expla-”

“Don't bother. I know what I saw. You are in love with Lincoln, and he loves you in return. As in, more than our familial bonds should allow, correct?”

Luan stops trying to grasp at straws. She lowers her head and looks to the ground. She hugs herself, remaining silent. Unable to confirm or deny Lucy's words.

“Tell me Luan... please, just tell me the truth.” The young girl's frown deepens as her voice gives rise to a rare emotion. She walks over to her elder sister and grabs her by the shoulders. As she raises her view, she shakes the hair from her eyes and makes direct contact with Luan's. “Please.”

This action in itself shocks Luan more than the conversation she's having with her young sibling. She can't remember the last time she saw Lucy's eyes. The beauty she's ashamed of pierces her soul as she mumbles, “Yes. It's true. I love Lincoln.”

Lucy wraps her arms around the older girl and softly sobs into her shoulder. All Luan can think to do is return the gesture, quietly sobbing as she rests her chin on the crown of Lucy's head. The girls stand in the middle of the basement, quietly sobbing into each other for what seems like hours to the young girls.

When the younger girl moves away, she rubs her eyes and nose with her sleeve and quickly repositions her hair to cover her vulnerability. “This can end in so many ways. You and Lincoln. I don't want either of you to get hurt,” she says in her usual monotone.

Luan follows her sister's example and tries to destroy the evidence of their crying session, made more difficult since she can't hide her red, puffy eyes. “Are you going to tell Mom and Dad?”

“No. I won't tell a soul, and coming from me, that means a lot. I just needed to know the truth. I love you both too much to be the cause of any more suffering. I love you both, and I'll support you in any way you need.”

Luan wasn't expecting that response. Since the start of their relationship, she knew that once they were discovered it would be the end of everything. That one, innocent kiss would lead to the downfall of both themselves and their entire family. The note she found was the beginnings of the crack on the fragile egg of their situation, but now, here was a sister that she never tried to understand saying that she would not only stay silent but support the foundation of their relationship.

“Thank you, Lucy, but why? Are you okay with this? Me and Linc? It's not exactly normal.”

“Like I said before, mere mortals won't understand, but I am no mere mortal. I may only be nine, but I know the taste of forbidden fruit. People also don't understand my dark love for Edwin,” she finishes with a smirk. Luan gives a tiny chuckle, not sure if the girl was being serious or not. “But seriously, just know that I'm here for you.”

“Thanks, Luce,” Luan says as she pulls the girl into another hug, stronger and warmer than their previous collision.

As the days go by, Luan and Lucy confide in each other, hang out with each other, and become closer and closer until they have formed the close bond that they share today. As Luan finishes her preparations and lies in bed, she pulls up the covers and gives and content sigh at the fond memories. But Lucy was right; she needs to talk to Lincoln. The upcoming holiday break will be her first opportunity, but with the rest of the family coming back; it will be difficult to find the time to be alone with him, even if he wasn't avoiding her like a leper. Regardless, soon the house will be living up to its name and time for rest and relaxation will be in short supply.


	5. Chapter 5

“… You know how it is, right,” Lincoln answers his sister as she sits on the floor. He sees the look of disappointed plastered on her face and wants to cave. Give in to her demand and have the long, overdue talk. His mind runs through the possibilities, the pros and the cons, the promise of closure and life as a family again. Lincoln looks at the older girl as his heart pangs with want and contempt, he wants to cave, but he runs away. Turning away from her and racing up the stairs to his sanctuary. 

After closing the door behind him and throwing his backpack to the ground, he flops himself onto his bed. He expects the sharp sting of tears to start forming in his eyes, but nothing. His body is used to the sense of loss, its tears for the situation dried up months ago. The young man turns himself to lie in a more relaxed position, one foot dangling off the bed and the other set on the wall. His cramped conditions becoming more apparent as the years go by. He grabs his beloved bun-bun, tattered and torn over the years since Leni left, holding it close and taking care to avoid its last dangling button eye.

Lincoln lets out a deep sigh, following it up with some deep breathing exercises. On the advice from his friend Clyde, he empties his mind, continuing to breathe deeply, in and out, slowly and methodically. A form of meditation Clyde’s therapist taught him. He continues the exercise, focusing his mind on a sandy beach. The gentle waves washing along the shore, the sound of seagulls braying in the distance, he imagines the feeling of sand between his toes as he takes a step forward. Moving softly, taking care to avoid the various seashells and sand dollars that litter the ground. He steps to the shoreline, allowing the water to wash over his bare feet. Lincoln stands still and closes his eyes, allowing the sounds of nature to cover his subconscious. As he opens his mind’s eye a large clam materializes in front of him. Its mouth opens to reveal a beautiful maiden wrapped in sheer cloth. Her long legs lead to her gorgeous sex, barely covered by the draping hanging over her shoulders. Her toned stomach and small, yet supple breasts are covered by her long, gorgeous, brown hair. His eyes are drawn to her face, a literal Venus raised from the sea. The details start to take shape as a sharp series of knocks on his door lift him from the vision. He’s back in his small room, surrounded by the drab colors of his walls. The knocking continues before the door shoots open and in walks his elder sister Lynn.

“What the hell, Lincoln. I’ve been knocking for hours,” she says as she invades his privacy once again.

The young man slowly lifts his head and casts his gaze at the short, sporty girl that looks down on him with a sneer. “Sorry, Lynn. I was trying that meditation stuff Clyde told me about. It’s supposed to bring me some kind of peace? Or something like that,” he responds as his vision of Venus slowly evaporates from his mind.

“Well, did it work?”

“Honestly? I feel worse than ever.”

“Then stop with that hippie crap and let’s get to work,” she says as she throws a towel over his face.

“Yeah, yeah,” he responds before removing the towel and standing. He stretches out his back before following after his sister to the backyard.

Minutes later, Lincoln lifts the ax above his head then brings it down, splitting the small log in one fell swoop. Lynn takes the pieces and throws them behind her into the growing pile. As Lincoln struggles to remove the tool from the stump, Lynn readies the next log. They continue the practice, increasing the pile of firewood for their neighbor Mr. Grouse. The athlete believes that hard work and strenuous exercise is the best relief for a troubled mind, and it does help smooth the cracks of his broken heart. They pass the errand in silence for another thirty minutes before the young boy releases the ax and swipes the towel across his forehead.

“Guess it’s time for a break,” Lynn says before getting up and grabbing two water bottles. She throws one to her brother before opening her own and sipping the water. In contrast, the boy gulps it down like a life-giving elixir as beads of sweat flow from every pore on his body. “So, ready to switch yet?”

The boy finishes off his water bottle and takes a few deep breaths before answering, “I want to keep going for a bit. If that’s okay?”

She studies her brother, noting his building physique. It’s hard to tell, normally, but when he has his shirt off, his toned muscles and building abs strike a deep contrast to the boy’s body from just a few months ago. The cold, winter air mixes with his building body heat causing steam to rise off his body. Similar vapors are rising from the girl's own body for entirely different reasons.

“Sure, but let’s talk for a minute.”

The boy continues to pat his body down before the chilly air starts to overtake his exertions and he throws his shirt back on. “What do you want to talk about?”

“How about, why aren’t you over this yet?”

“Lynn,” the boy exhales a sigh, “You know I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Well too bad. We have to talk about this Linc.”

“Look, it’s over. Yeah, I’m not dealing with it well, but I was happy. WE were happy.”

“She is your sister, Lincoln,” she almost yells. “Whatever it was you guys were doing was sick. She was taking advantage of you! Just a sad little comedian who gets her kicks off-“

“Don’t talk about her that way,” he yells as he gets into his sisters face. The heavy breathing continues, but in anger, as opposed to the exhaustion he was feeling.

The sudden outburst throws Lynn off course. She flinches slightly before doubling down on her own anger. “Alright fine,” she says quietly, “You don’t want to accept the truth? What about all those pranks she pulled on you, huh? What about all the harm she put you and our family in? What about all those videos she has about your constant suffering? Someday you have to accept that she was just using you. Just using you to get more material for her stupid jokes!”

“Stop it,” he whispers.

“This was just a game for her.”

“Stop.” The tears start welling in his eyes.

“All she wanted was a new toy, and once she got bored…”

“Stop.” The tears fall from his eyes as he closes them tightly, bringing his hands to his ears to block out the harsh truth of her words.

“She broke it and threw it away.”

At that, the boy snaps, “You don’t know anything, Lynn. Neither do I. It wasn’t like that… It wasn’t like that so just shut your damn mouth!” He’s so close to her face, their noses touching as he screams his denial. As his adrenaline fades, he turns and tries to run away. Lynn grabs his arm before he can make it far, forcing him to face her once again. He thinks he must look so pitiful, his scrunched up crying face the most deplorable and hilarious sight his sister has ever seen.

Lynn puts her free hand up to his cheek, gently rubbing it before wrapping around the back of his neck. “I’m just trying to help you, Lincoln.”

As Lynn leans forward, bringing her face closer to his, he breaks away. Turning back to their home, he begins walking. “I appreciate what you’ve done for me, but I don’t need your help, Lynn.” He walks into the back entrance and lets the screen door slam shut.

The sixteen-year-old girl looks after him before grunting in frustration and turns back to job at hand. She lifts the ax out of the stump, places a log in the center, and slams the ax back down. Repeating the process over and over, increasing the pile of firewood for their feeble, old neighbor.


	6. Chapter 6

As the days pass on, Luan tries to gather her courage and have a talk with her little brother, but every time she does, she's shot down. Lincoln has become surprisingly active in his family role as of late. Constantly spending time with the twins and their various time demanding activities. Volunteering for the most ludicrous of experiments held by Lisa, and spending an obtuse amount of time trying to better both Lily and Lucy's art of choice. In Lucy's defense, she did try to turn do Lincoln's offers of help and critique, but after such a long time of not spending time with her brother, it was nice to have his attention again. 

So, Luan continues to search for an opportunity. However, as the days pass to weeks and time continues to strive forward, her ability and her courage are lost to enemies of convenience and acceptance. Finally, Christmas starts to raise it's cheerful head. As the Loud children started to leave the place they called home, they made an agreement with their parents. Barring any unmissable appointments, the entire family should be together for Christmas. The family was never too religious, in any respect, but they always believed in the base function of the holiday, that of family and togetherness. And now, here she is, Luan Loud driving from the airport in the car she bought with her savings, her sister, Leni, sitting in the passenger seat humming along to the popular songs, blasting through the radio, one week before Christmas.

It's not a long drive from the airport to the Loud House, but it's been such a long time since Leni has been back to her hometown, that she has to stop and look at every memory that she has missed in her time gone. 

“Hour 2 in my drive home with Leni. I fear that I will never feel the sweet embrace of my bed again. Never taste the cooling refreshment of water from our sinks. Looking at the park memorial to whatever founder of Royal Woods for the umpteenth time leaves me hoping that death will find me soon. If my friends or family find this tape, just know that I love you and wished to see you one more time before my untimely demise. Luan out,” she says into her recorder. A small digital device that she carries with her for whenever a new joke enters her head.

“Like, sorry for the wait, Luan,” Leni says as she bounds towards the girl sitting on a park bench, two ice cream cones in her hands. As she hands one to her waiting sister, she takes a seat and begins licking the frozen treat.

Luan begrudgingly accepts the bribe and licks at the already melting edges. An unusually warm winter keeps the sun in the sky, the clouds at bay, and the temperature in the low 70's. While she is happy to see her sister, all Luan really wants to do is head home and try to talk to Lincoln again. A task that is proving far more difficult than previously thought. She lets out a small sigh between licks and a sign of concern crosses Leni's face.

“Are you alright? This isn't too boring for you, is it?,” she asks.

Luan nearly drops her cone, before stuttering a response, “N, no, Leni. This is great. You don't get a lot of time to unwind when you're studying for exams.”

Leni's face scrunches up a little bit more before it falls back into a relaxed, Leni-like fashion that oozes comfort and happiness. “Okay! So, like, how is everyone, Luan? I know I talk to everybody a lot, but, like, not everything translates through the phone.”

“Oh, um, well everyone's doing really great. I know Lucy just got an award for her poetry, and Lana's keeping the house from falling apart. Lily got a recommendation to an art school upstate. I don't know if she's going to take it. You guys leaving hit her really hard. I don't know If she can take leaving us willingly. I hope she does, though, it would be really good for her. Lola is the queen of her school, and Lisa is the same as always, but she broadened up her research with the help of her friend Darcy. Things are really looking up for the Loud House.”

Leni absorbs the information as her face cascades through her various Leni emotions. Happy, proud, super-happy and super-proud. It falls exponentially when she thinks of the one Loud that was left out. “What about Linky? Is he still doing super great?” She looks hopeful and also a little crestfallen at the question.

Luan goes silent. Mulling over how best to tell her sister that Lincoln is avoiding her. “Well. He's been keeping himself pretty busy recently. We haven't had the chance to talk much, as much as I would like us too,” Luan's face falls as she answers. Focusing on her ice cream as opposed to looking her sister in the eyes as she give her answer.

“What happened? Did you two have a fight or something?,” she asks as she watches the ice cream drip down the cone and onto her hand.

“I guess so... No, it definitely was. I,” she gives out a sigh and continues. “I said some things to him. I really hurt him, and not in the usual 'prank gone wrong' sort of way.” She runs her hand through her hair stopping at the end of her ponytail. She continues as she pulls on the end of her hair, “I don't think I can bring him back, bring us back to how we were.” Tears begin to form in her eyes, but she holds them back, tearing some hairs away from her ponytail. “I guess he's just going through some stuff. I'm sure it'll blow over before long.”

Leni smiles brightly, licks at her frozen confectionery before turning her head to her sister and thrusting her hand against her cheek. A loud smack erupts through the park as Leni brings her hand back to her side. Her faces falls to a very Un-Leni like face, completely crestfallen and destitute.

Luan rubs on the red mark left on her face and looks to her sister in confusion. Leni's face is one that she's never seen before. Completely red and full of rage and contempt. Luan wasn't sure her older sister was capable of these emotions. If she wasn't looking her in the face, there was no way she would believe these emotions came from Leni.

Leni stands straight up and looks Luan in the eyes.”I thought you loved Linky!”

Luan blinks at her, trying to catch up to to what's happening.

“I never should have left him to you.. I should have just taken him for myself,” She screams before closing herself off again.”If I knew you would have abandoned him, hurt him like that. I never would have told him to follow his heart. God! I'm, like, such an idiot.”

Luan rubs her cheek and looks her sister in the eye. The tantamount rage makes her shrink into herself. “You... you knew?”

“Of course I knew. It was so obvious how much he adored you. Ever since he was a little Linky, he always followed you around. Always let you do your pranks, even if they were a little mean sometimes.” Leni's anger disappears as soon as it appeared. Her eyes giving way to tears. “I really thought you guys could make it work,” her frown showers the entire park as though sadness eradiates around the two.

“What are you talking about Leni?”

“I thought you two would work out, is all. When Link asked me about it, I knew his feelings were genuine, and I knew you felt the same. What happened? Why did you push him away?”

Luan throws herself into the small park bench looking this way and that, trying to avoid her sisters eyes. “It's just, we weren't meant for each other. You know? We are siblings after all,” she says in trepidation.

“Who told you that?”

Luan licks her treat, fixating on the ice cream in front of her as opposed to the great amount of fury building up in her sister.

“Someone told you something. Someone told you it wasn't okay for siblings to be together. Who was it?”

Leni's deepening fury builds in front of Luan's eyes. It wasn't what she said, but how she said it that disturbed her. The low timbre to her voice, the angry accusatory tone, it struck her. Making her feel like what she was told before was wrong, That everything she ever though was wrong. The sudden change in personality leaves her speechless.

“Who told you that?,” Leni questions.

Luan stays silent, focusing on her ice cream. She licks at the melting parts as they start to dribble down the cone. As she looks over at Leni, her expression forces her to answer, “No-Nobody told me anything. I just wised up to what was happening. I may love him now, but he's still just a kid in the eyes of the law, so... so, it doesn't matter what happened. Just drop it okay?”

A long silence drapes over the two. Luan looks away from her sister as she finishes her ice cream, cone and all. Racing through her thoughts, she knows her sister is right. She misses him so badly. The way he smiles, the way he laughs at her jokes, his cute freckles, the adorable cow lick. How can she give up such a prize, such a loving person? She loves him with every fiber of her being, but... it's for the best. Right?

The sudden sound of sobbing breaks her thought process. She looks over to her sister, her hands in her face and crying her heart out. The ice cream long since abandoned to the ground. “I'm sorry,” is all she says. Over and over again, as if just realizing what she's done.

Luan grabs her shoulder, “Leni... Leni, it's alright. I deserved it.” Despite her protest, Leni continues to cry and repeat the same mantra, over and over. Luan gives out a small sigh and gathers her sister in her arms.

“I'm sorry too. I didn't want any of this to happen,” she says as she thinks over her next words, “But it did. Okay? You don't have to blame yourself, or whatever. Okay?”, she says as she slowly rocks back and forth, comforting the hysterical girl.

“He wasn't the only one that was happy. I know, looking at the two of you, you were both so happy,” Leni lets out between sobs. “I loved him too, but you were so happy together. I knew I could never take your place... I just don't understand,” she finally lets out as she composes herself.

“I'm sorry, Leni,” Luan says as she tries to digest what she was just told. After that, silence. Luan holds onto her crying sister until she is able to compose herself. With a few more sniffles the two get up and return to the car.

“Is everything going to be okay?,” Leni asks.

“I hope so,” is all Luan replies with, as her mind buzzes with what she has learned, along with what must have been the lies she was told. “I just need to talk to him. It'll all work out for the best,” she says with a chipper smile as she puts her foot to the pedal and the car moves forward.


End file.
